He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not: Questions For Black Christians

Recently, a pretty popular pastor in my hometown, Dallas, posted a status that basically said that we can question God but not challenge God. I read and re-read that status because I was intrigued. First, on some level, I felt like there wasn’t really a difference. I know that there is a difference between, let’s say, your child questioning you and your child challenging you. One would likely get a less gracious response than the other. However, when talking about the almighty, it seems like anything that us mere mortals would ask would be seen as a challenge to the sovereignty, omnipotence, omnipresence, and omniscience that we are all taught that God has.  

I deal with anxiety, panic disorder, and depression. The anxiety and panic are things that I’ve dealt with since I was a young child. The depression, I guess, may be a product of the vicissitudes of adult life. It actually began in my late teens and after a bad divorce and two monumental deaths within 2 years, it started to really show itself strong in my life. Most days I can fight it. Some days are much harder than others though. 

I’ve had Christians say that they are praying for me or will pray for me and I appreciate the gesture; I really do. I mean, if someone has a connection to any deity, I’d never try to disabuse them of their belief in it. Being Black, it’s rare to meet other people who are also Black and aren’t subscribed to some type of Judeo-Christian belief system. That system is usually Christianity. You have the Pentecostals, the Baptists, the AMEs and the CMEs. You have the 7th Day Adventists, Church of Christ, and even the Catholics. Let’s face it: Black people luuuuuurve Jesus. 

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And I get it. I don’t argue like a Hotep about why Black people love Jesus. We all know about colonialism. We all know about Africans being stripped of their native religions. I don’t really see a point in rehashing that part of the story. 

But, I do have a question: when do we make God prove himself?

Black people give God, and by extension Jesus, a lot of credit. Woke up? God. Legs work? God. Have shelter? God. Have food? God. Have water? God. Have a job? God. Feeling better from a recent illness? God.

I’ve started to wonder though, for Black people, does the standard ever get any higher? If a normal parent fed their kids, provided shelter for them, and gave them medicine or  took them to the doctor when they were sick, we wouldn’t do back flips and give rounds of applause. We’d say that’s what parents should do for their children. In fact, we’d say that a parent who doesn’t do that for their children should have their children removed from them because the children are being neglected.

So, if God is the father and we are his children, why do we become enthralled with the basics that we presume he gives us? Further, when you look at the state of Black people all over the globe, why aren’t we asking more of him? Why aren’t we asking him to prove up? 

Why is it considered blasphemy or disrespectful on an epic level to even suggest it?

Many of us were taught or told that when you ask God for something or to do something on your behalf, the answers are either yes, no, or wait. But, what if that’s unsatisfactory? When someone needs help, is it fair to tell them, “Well, God loves you so you should take your concern to him buuuuuut, he may or may not help you. Or….he might help you, he just may make you wait a little while.” 

confused

The last time I was seriously in mental upheaval, I asked my ancestors to give me peace no matter what happened. They did almost immediately. The next day, when I woke up, that peace was still there. When I got one of the worst phone calls of the year an hour later, the peace remained. 

But, instead of sounding like the loving benevolent father that Christians sell on tracts, it sounds like dealing with God is a bureaucratic process almost as bad as trying to get social services or an explanation of benefits from your insurance company. Who could possibly be expected to hold on and endure, in faith, if that’s the best they can get in their time of need? And what happens when that time of need extends past a couple of days, or a couple of weeks and becomes months or years of trial? When the weight becomes more than the muscles and sinews of a person’s spirit can take and they still have no answer? The elders say to “be still.” But, what do you do when you’re dying in the midst of your obedient stillness? 

Though I like to think myself wise (most of the time), I have no answer to these questions. I will say that it seems like a maze, at times. I’m an outsider, but looking in, it can seem like a game and the worst kind of game – an unwinnable one that many people are too afraid to opt out of (cause of hell and all). On top of that, it seems like an abusive game. If “yes,” “no,” or “wait” is the best that seekers have to look forward to, what’s it all worth?

 

Go Home, Roger! I Need Hillary Clinton To Stop Now

Last week was politically eventful. The House Managers and the POTUS’ counsel wrapped up their closing arguments. The Senate voted on whether or not to allow documents and witnesses. The senators gave speeches detailing their final votes on impeachment. To nobody’s shock, Donald Trump was found not guilty and behaved as I predicted here. The day before, he delivered his State of the Union address where he bestowed the Medal of Honor upon one of the most ardent racists to have a microphone in their face, Rush Limbaugh, after announcing that he (Rush) has advanced lung cancer. In between that, in order to pander to the Black vote, he awarded a beautiful little Black girl a scholarship to escape her failing school and invited a 100-year-old Tuskegee Airman to attend.

Black History Month is getting off to an interesting start.

nancy

In the mix of all that, the Iowa Caucus was held and in true DNC fashion, the fuckery ensued. I’m not up on all the details but this year, they used an app (allegedly programmed by a friend of the Clintons), that failed spectacularly when it really mattered. The next day, we still didn’t know who walked away delegate-rich. Later that day, we were told 62% of the precincts were reporting and showed Buttigieg narrowly besting Sanders. The next day, Sanders claimed that he knew that he had 6,000 more votes than Buttigieg. From my understanding, as the candidates have already moved on to New Hampshire, we still don’t have a definite answer on Iowa and now, the head of the DNC, Tom Perez is asking for a recount…BEFORE a final tally.

whitney

So…yeah. Anybody who was around for the 2016 election knows where this bullshit is headed but what makes it even more obvious is that two-time non-victor, Hillary Rodham Clinton, for the past few weeks, has been determined to sully Bernie Sanders’ name in the press. First, it was her telling us that nobody likes Bernie and they don’t want to work with him. Yesterday, it was her going even further to try to discredit Sanders as a viable candidate.

The Hillary Clinton fans (who still, apparently, have not gotten over her INEVITABLE loss in 2016), say that it is payback for Bernie Sanders either not endorsing her in 2016 or endorsing her too late (depends on which one you ask).

Really?

At this point, y’all sound like the people who blame their spouse or their best friend for not forcing the Cheetos out of their hands when they failed to use the year they had to lose 20lbs.

It’s time for Hillary to stop. First of all, she got beat by a very little-known senator by the name of Barack Obama in 2008. That should have been the writing on the wall for her. When a WW who was the former first lady to a president that Black people luuuuuurved couldn’t win against a Black man most of only knew from that one speech at the DNC 4 years beforehand, the message is clear.

Second of all, Hillary is behaving like an entitled petulant child (ironically, what “moderate Dems” probably think about progressive Dems). Hillary, you lost. I know you want to blame it on Bernie but it wasn’t Bernie. You must not have seen and read what I did during that time but your loss was predicted far before the DNC chose you as the nominee (read that last part again cause I meant it). The 53% of white women who voted for your opponent and that you explained as women doing what their husbands told them to do (the same excuse given when it’s time to address the complicity of white women during slavery, btw), didn’t do you any favors either.

nene

Thirdly, some of us haven’t forgotten the DNC’s fuckery in 2016.

Somehow, Hillary and her supporters still want to blame “Bernie Bros” for the loss. This is odd to me when they brag about winning the popular vote though. Sooooo…..since you actually won the popular vote, is it really the fault of Bernie and his supporters or should you REALLY be mad at the Electoral College? You won the popular vote by 3M votes. What else was Bernie supposed to do. Go in and change people’s ballots for you?

nixon

What’s funniest to me about this situation is that if this were Trump and his bowl of sour grapes talking about why something didn’t politically go his way, people would be making fun of him and telling him to stop being a crybaby and work harder next time. You all know that I’m not one to defend Trump, but I think that advice is appropriate for Hillary this time around. This Democratic race is already a shitshow. Why add to it?

Same message goes to Hillary fans. Stop that bullshit. All you’re doing is making yourself look bad while Hillary reminds the people who didn’t vote for her exactly why they didn’t.