For The People Who Think School Was Supposed To Teach Them Everything

This week, I saw an unusual amount of memes that all had to do with what school failed to teach people and what school should have taught people. These lists ranged anywhere from budget planning to taking out loans to community economic development.

It wasn’t the first time I had seen these types of memes. I mean, since about 2014, we’ve been bombarded with memes of people whining about all the shit that they never learned. Even the common sense stuff like making appointments appears to have escaped people (which is not necessarily a surprise considering the fact that if common sense were a stock, most people would perpetually be in the bear market). 

When I see these memes, I just have one question, though.

What about your parents?

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But let me back up though and address this particular meme.

  1. Private school doesn’t teach you a lot of this stuff either. I went to private school. There’s no extra special secret curriculum.
  2. Reading and understanding laws? Well, the reading part is kind of a no-brainer. Reading comprehension is actually taught starting 1st or 2nd grade. If you don’t understand what you’ve read, be it laws or anything else, you can always ask.
  3. I literally took a health and or biology class (or had the curriculum) every year from Pre-K through 12th grade. In Pre-K, it’s talking about brushing your teeth and eating vegetables. It gets more sophisticated as you get older. Don’t blame school for your cavities and cholesterol.
  4. At what point would starting a business fit into general education when that’s not something that most people will ever do? That’s one of those things experiencing life will help you learn if that’s the road you choose.
  5. Investing? That was covered in that easy class you took senior year called “Math of Money” or (by the time I was a senior) “Math Models.”
  6. Filing a lawsuit? Again, most people will never need to file a lawsuit. However, there are clerks at the courthouse. You simply walk up to them and say, “I’m interested in filing a lawsuit” and they will point you in the right direction.
  7. How to avoid taxes? I won’t even touch that one but to say most adults don’t even know how to do that so I don’t know why anyone would think that would make it into a general curriculum.
  8. Self-defense? Ask your parents to take karate.
  9. Build guns? You really think we need to be teaching school-aged children how to build guns when they can’t even be trusted to not be on their smartphone during a lecture? Okay. Ask your uncle Festus.
  10. Reading vaccine inserts? There’s that reading thing again. I’ve never had a problem reading anything because…I can read.
  11. Federal Reserve creation? Do you honestly care? Honestly? C’mon! You can be…honest!
  12. Propaganda? Well, that’s interesting because after first learning what propaganda was, I was able to identify it quite easily. We also talked about it in social studies (elementary) and history right around the time we discussed Hitler.
  13. Government cover-ups? Watch Netflix documentaries.

As an aside, it’s funny that people talk about how none of us needs two rounds of algebra in the real world (shout out to the engineers, math teachers, scientists, etc.) but somehow, this meme-maker seems to think we all really need to know how to build guns and that if the government wants to kill us, they’ll make it look like an accident.

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At some point, we have to stop blaming an underfunded, overcrowded educational system for not teaching you EVERY SINGLE THING you ended up needing to know in adulthood.

One, you have parents for a reason. All those times your mom told you that you couldn’t do or get something because your parents couldn’t afford it? That was your exposure to the budgeting lesson you think someone who makes $50k/year, is responsible for 200 students, and is actually a veritable stranger to you was supposed to teach you.

Two, you presumably have a brain. How to make a doctor’s appointment? You call the doctor you want to see, and when the receptionist answers the phone, you say, “Hello, I’d like to make an appointment to see Dr. _____.” Then, you answer whatever questions she may have. Don’t forget your insurance card.

It really is that simple. I wouldn’t lie to you. There are even healthcare providers that allow you to set appointments online. If you can order pizza, you can make a doctor’s appointment.

Loans? You read and ask questions. If you don’t understand, ask more questions until you do understand. You can even ask for a tentative payment schedule that forecasts what you’ll end up owing and how much the loan will cost you in the long run. Then, you sign or decline.

Budgeting? Mathematics + common sense. So, if you bring home $2,700/mo., your rent is $1,000/mo., your utilities equal $700/mo., and your commuting costs add up to $500/mo., and your groceries are $400/mo., no, the newest $350 Apple gadget probably isn’t a good idea because life has a way of surprising us and that Apple gadget isn’t a roof. You see, budgeting isn’t really about whether or not you physically have the money as much as whether or not it makes sense to spend it on certain things.

But, if 2016 taught me anything, it’s that poor people deserve nice things.

Anywho….

Thirdly, and I mentioned this on my personal FB page once, some of y’all are hard-headed and don’t pay attention to anything. Some of y’all had really good teachers who taught you way more than they were obligated to but you were passing notes, skipping class, or doing a bunch of other irrelevant shit and missed it. Now you’re mad because you think someone failed you when you really failed yourself.

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If learning is something that most people agree is a lifelong activity, why are so many people from the Millennial/Xennial generation walking around as if they were supposed to be exposed to such topics as “community economic development” at some point in their K-12 education? At what point was the underpaid and overworked teacher supposed to ask who was interested in a career in public administration or social activism?

Which leads me to my next point. Although I like to pretend to know everything, I actually don’t. And when I decide I’d like to know something that I don’t already know, I do the legwork it takes to find out. For those of you unsure of the meaning of legwork, that just means that instead of griping on the internet about the shit I don’t know that I think someone should have volunteered to tell me by rote, I do my own research. I Google, find a book on the subject, or, depending on what the topic is, I may even ask my mother (remember that point about having parents).

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The thing is, if you’re lucky, life will be longer than you think. If you aren’t lazy or one of those people determined to foul up every opportunity they get, you’ll keep learning. Some of your learning will be by trial and error (like when I trusted that a new beautician knew the difference between trimming my ends and damn near scalping me). Some of your learning will merely require you to lift your head from your phone for a few minutes and observe what’s happening around you (like, I’m sure you remember your mom making your doctor’s appointments for you so how you walked away not knowing any of it…IDK). A lot of your learning will require you to be an active participant. You may have to watch some shit you don’t want to watch or read some shit you don’t want to read.

You may have to speak to someone you can’t stand simply because they have the information you need (that’s for you former class skippers who didn’t like Ms. So-and-So but Ms. So-and-So would have helped you not embarrass yourself at 30 crying about not knowing the very shit she was teaching while you were at the mall on a Tuesday at 11:30 am).

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At this rate, in the year 2050, we’ll have a bunch of 20 year-olds mad that nobody taught them to tie their shoe (a sure win for the velcro industry). Let’s hope potty training at 2 is still the standard though.

Let’s do better. Just like we say self-care is your responsibility, so is knowledge. Use the time it takes to complain on the internet about a perceived educational deficit you experienced 15 or 20 years ago to self-educate.

 

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Then What? The Bad News For Boycotters

A couple of days ago, it was revealed that one of the owners of Soul Cycle and Equinox was holding a Trump fundraiser. As celebrities and regular degulars alike took to Twitter and Instagram to urge people to give up their memberships, the companies released statements saying that the fundraiser was being thrown with the owner’s own money, that he only owns a piece of the companies, and that the companies do not condone or promote bigotry of any kind.

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Kewl.

As we all know, Chik-Fil-A is another company that we’re supposed to be boycotting because of its owners’ history of donating to charities believed to espouse anti-LGBTQ sentiments. Then, there’s Wayfair, Hobby Lobby, ABC Supply, HSN, etc… The list goes on and on and on and most of it has to do with owners being Trump supporters, Trump merchandise being sold (HSN), or the owners having an ultra-conservative stance on hot button issues.

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It seems like many of these boycotts are actually just performative for social media. I mean, I haven’t eaten at Chik-Fil-A in years but the one closest to where I live, in a highly Democratic area, consistently has two lines that spill into the street. And to be honest, me not eating Chik-Fil-A has more to do with me staying sexy and refusing to sit in a drive-thru for 30 minutes than the owner thinking that there’s something wrong with being gay or abortion.

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I still wear New Balance because I’m not going to worsen my plantar fasciitis and buy Nikes because the owner of New Balance is a Republican.

I think people are missing a few things in their zeal to boycott.

  1. Very few owners of multi-billion dollar companies don’t have a right-leaning stance about something. Remember when the light bulb illuminated during 2007 and Millennials realized that the people with real money were helping to call the shots and actually loved Republican leadership? Okay. Well, yeah….that. Even if they don’t care about abortion or queerness, they are at least fiscally conservative which is another way to say that they are into controlling costs (ie. keeping a low minimum wage) and getting and staying as rich as they can (ie. curiously beneficial tax codes). It doesn’t necessarily have anything to do with Trump for them. They’d have voted and donated to the guy who plays the trombone on the street corner if he were to become a Republican president.
  2. The racial aspect. White people are in a position to play around with their politics and kind of pick and choose at their leisure what they are and aren’t going to do and who they are and aren’t going to boycott. White people are also able to be shocked and appalled. Black people haven’t had the same ability to be socially daft or unconscious. First of all, we have to presume that all these rich white men are some kind of –ist. Actually, we have to presume that white people, in general, are some kind of –ist. History suggests it. Our survival, since we’ve been in this country, has always depended upon us analyzing the prospect that the white people we come in contact with for any reason could actually hate our asses. When you live with that as part of your default, you tend to not be as reactionary when you find out that the white owner of your favorite pizza joint doesn’t like Black people. What’s new? Chik-Fil-A isn’t open on Sundays. Common sense tells you why. So then, if they are clearly Evangelicals, is it really a shock that they think anything but heterosexuality is a sin? Not really. Just like we ate Sister Williams’ peach cobbler knowing that she also thought being gay was a sin, we’re gonna’ go get that 8-piece nugget meal. Basically, if we boycotted every business run by people who don’t like us, there’d be almost literally nowhere for us to go besides the local Black-owned BBQ and catfish joints and our beauty salons or barbershops.

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3. After the boycott, then what? These people are clearly unapologetic about their political stance. Chick-Fil-A is still poppin’, which is a sign that not even the boycotters are on the same page. And as of yet, I’ve not heard of any actual policy ideas that boycotts are supposed to spark. For example, the bus boycott during the CRM was done to end segregation on the buses. But, from what I can tell, all the boycotters want is for people to stop liking/supporting the Trump campaign or stop being racist/homophobic, etc. That’s not how that works. Boycotts should focus on policy change, not likeability. You think all those Republican millionaires really like Trump? No. You think you not buying a pair of shoes or a biscuit meal is going to change those millionaires internally? Not likely.

Nothing is wrong with boycotting. Hell, I’ve been boycotting Ross since 1997. But, I feel like while you’re boycotting, your eyes need to be on a prize and like it or not, when you finally break and get some waffle fries, Trump will still be president.

The Week-In-Review With The Wayward Daughter

This week, a lot of good, ridiculous, interesting shit happened so I decided to do a quick rundown. Plus, I’m trying to do two entries so this is just to tide you over.

In no particular order:

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Macy’s Plates:

This week, someone snapped a pic of a plate set at Macy’s. There were concentric circles drawn on the plate with the inner post circle labeled, “skinny jeans,” then, “favorite jeans,” and finally, “mom jeans.” Basically, the size of the meal was indicative of which jeans you were trying to fit into. Of course, white feminists took the opportunity to tweet the situation to hell and Macy’s responded by pulling the plates.

My thoughts: This didn’t even register on my meter. I wonder how we are going to raise well-adjusted children when trite things like this are what get us in a frenzy. It was clearly a joke and what’s more, it actually lends to common diet advice to watch the size of your plate if you are watching the size of your portions. The way I see it, if you don’t like the plates, frown in disgust and don’t buy them. The magic is that people who eat a lot won’t give a fuck that they are eating in the “mom jeans” range and people who eat frighteningly little won’t feel the need to eat out of the “skinny jeans” range.

Forever 21 and Atkin’s Bars

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Apparently, many Forever 21 shoppers received free samples of the new Atkins bar flavor, lemon something or other, in their order. Of course, that’s no big deal until someone who shops in the plus-size section receives a low-carb delicacy and takes to Twitter to let everybody know. Turns out, even “straight-size” customers received the bars but that’s not salacious enough, so….*shrug*

My thoughts: Atkins bars and candies are delicious but lemon? Yuck! Seriously, this is a new breed. People being upset about receiving free food is a new one to me. If I were a plus-sized shopper that was really that concerned about it, I might have first asked Forever 21 how they decided who did and didn’t get one and then weighed my option to blast them on Twitter. But, I must say I admire the courage of those who wear Forever 21 clothing. I’ve been in the store and the clothes look like they’ll be no-good after one wash.

Jeffrey Epstein

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He was reportedly found injured and in the fetal position in his cell this week causing speculation that he had attempted suicide. As of the 25th, the situation is still being investigated by jail officials.

My thoughts: I, for one, am glad to see a sexual predator who exploited dozens of teen girls send himself to his final judgment. I just want his client list first. He was selling it. Someone was buying it. He’s known to have rubbed elbows with the rich and powerful and I’m in favor of as many of the depraved as possible getting their just desserts. I’ll never cry over an abuser. Matter of fact, I’m in favor of public guillotine.

A$AP Rocky

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Trump allegedly tried to negotiate something for this rapper who went overseas and got in trouble. At first, Swedish officials were denying they ever spoke to Trump. Then, they let Trump know he wasn’t finna’ mess with the Swedish process of justice. As of yesterday, A$AP Rocky, who was at first just being held until an investigation was completed, was formally charged. So much for Trump calling. Trump did, however, tweet about the situation cause that’s his shizz.

My thoughts: The Swedish jail photos I saw were more like a dorm. I’m not familiar with this dollar sign person but it’s a good thing he wasn’t in China, or North Korea, or even the USA. If he can’t deal with that set up, IDK that he can withstand much. On that note, I feel like Trump overstepped. There are enough people wrongly incarcerated in this country for him to be worried about a wealthy rapper who may or may not be guilty. I guess he thought it’d get him points with “the African-Americans.”

Mueller

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He testified this week. He was asked if Trump was able to be charged of a crime once he leaves office. Mueller said yes.

My thoughts: This was actually the first time I heard Mueller speak (no, I didn’t watch the press conference). His voice surprised me. It was more…feeble than I expected. I always pictured that someone who was in charge of finding fuckery receipts and spilling fuckery tea on a sitting president and his homies would have a more booming voice. Anywho, I wasn’t shocked. Now, I’m just waiting on Trump to try to enact a rule that ends term limits since he can’t be indicted while in office. Leave it to him to get out of trouble by riding the presidency until his final chariot comes to get him.

 

 

 

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The Lost Kardashian: The Wasteful Obsession With Trump’s Tweets

This week, social media was shaken (and I don’t know why) by Donald Trump’s comments saying that four Freshmen congresswomen of color should “go back” to their own countries. The comments came on the heels of Nancy Pelosi seemingly shade scolding the congresswomen for being Liberal contrarians in the Democratic party. When one of the congresswomen dared address Pelosi’s comments, Trump, the most voluminous, if not profound, tweeting president in history, stepped in to offer his $.02. To date, Trump is refusing to retract his comment and at a recent rally, when his supporters chanted that Ilhan Omar, one of the four congresswomen be sent back, Trump did not quiet them.

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I’m not going to talk about what Pelosi said. I’m not going to talk about AOC’s response to Pelosi. I’m not even going to directly address what Trump said. This blog is about how the media and the American public are getting played by people like Trump.

First of all, we all knew what Trump’s platform was when he was campaigning. Secondly, we’ve all heard reports about his behavior and social philosophies. Thirdly, we all know that Trump likes to run his mouth on Twitter, usually inappropriately. Fourth, we know that Trump has a hard time when he is called to be accountable for his words and actions. We even knew this back when former President Obama was in office.

So, I’m confused about the outrage. I’m even more confused by how nobody seems to “get it” yet. By “it” I mean the way that Trump and people like him, people who we claim to loathe, continue to be able to distract us with the same bullshit they’ve always done. It’s no secret that I believe that the media is part of why Trump won the presidential election. The attention that the media gave him was like taking a polar bear to a fish buffet. Had they treated him like the trite trick candidate that he clearly was (I mean, on election night, he and his family looked like they were low-key disappointed that he won), I really believe someone else would be president (not necessarily a Democrat but definitely not him).

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As much as the public claims to want him to go away already, the desire to continue to hype him up by way of giving inordinate amounts of attention to every little thing he does and says (that lies outside of the scope of the presidency) is a waste of time and is why Trump will probably be re-elected.

Newsflash: Trump wasn’t the only president in history with racist views. We’ve had 45 of them. Only one wasn’t white. The larger portion of them were in office during slavery, Reconstruction, and Jim Crow. Our parents and grandparents remember the Civil Rights Movement and segregation and lynching, etc. You do the math.

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Ilhan Omar is probably a very nice lady. I’ve never met her. But it’s too bad she invoked the great ancestor, Mother Maya Angelou, to address a group of people who give not an iota of a damn about how ridiculous their chant and life philosophies are. It’s too bad other Democrats used more of the time they do not have to address the TOTUS (Tweeter Of The United States).

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As I said in my flea market pieces, if the Democrats want a shot in hell of winning the presidency of 2020 (and I’m not even sure that they want it but I’ll talk more about that later), they need to get their focus together. They need to be offering actionable and sane policy options instead of gawking and pointing at the dunce in the corner.

 

The Wayward Daughter On Religion- Pt. 2: Meeting The Aunt We Never Knew

To my Aunt Jacqueline: thank you and may we redeem the time.

Earlier this week on Facebook, I shared a status of a mother delivering stillborn twins. Based on the caption, I got the impression that the parents knew their children would be stillborn but still wanted to have birthing photographs done because, in their words, “stillbirth is still birth.” When I shared it, I accompanied it with the customary trigger warnings and a brief family history. My mother is the only living girl of my grandmother’s 8 pregnancies. The reason for that is because my grandmother was carrying another girl that died in utero. My grandparents knew that she would be born deceased. My grandmother, due to convention at the time, carried her until her body naturally went into the labor process.

I shared the status and moved on with my day. If you read my original blog on religion, you’ll recall that part of my journey has been acknowledging and honoring my ancestors. It is an African tradition and if you think about it, it makes natural sense to stay connected to the people who are responsible for where you are today; though they no longer inhabit a fleshly vessel.

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As I was going through my normal practice of communing with them, I started to think back on the post I shared earlier that morning. Never having heard a more obvious voice, “She is an ancestor, too” boomed. The “she” is the stillborn baby girl that my grandmother carried. All at once, I started bawling. You see, I’m the only girl grandchild of 6 grandchildren. I always wanted a sister; an older one. I don’t have one. I always wanted a blood aunt. I don’t have one…or I should say that I lived my life without one. I immediately texted the woman who is like my sister, NegraWithTumbao, with my “revelation.”

We talked about it and she gave me the idea to give my aunt a name. And after that, my spiritual imagination awakened. I feel I know how she would have looked, which foods she would have liked, how she would have lived. I imagine that she would have had the gift of sight and that’s what would have bonded us. I know she would have loved me and I know I would have been able to tell her anything in the strictest of confidence and she’d always honor that.

The most perfect part of this is that she used a FB post that highlighted her own experience to remind me that she’s here. If I know nothing else, it’s that when your eggun or the universe or the deity you serve wants to get a message to you, anything is up for use.

Spiritual awakenings are interesting in that they usually come after great loss. Mine did. But, the magnificence of loss is that when you pay attention, you realize that everything you lost is being replaced with something greater right before your eyes. Most times, we’re too consumed with worry to notice it right away but in the stillness, even if it’s a baby who leaves before they come, your eyes are opened and you become cognizant that you’ve gained so much more than you lost. I lost a husband and in return, I gained a sister. I lost a job and in return, I gained the opportunity to make money using my gift and doing what I love to do. I also gained the aunt that I always lamented not having.

It doesn’t matter if your eggun lived 80 minutes or 80 years, they each have something to offer you, and their love, the thing that never dies, will still do its perfect work.

 

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Advocacy: One of the Many Things That’s Nobody Else’s Business

We’ve probably all seen it. A post or meme telling us that we’re not really pro-(fill in the blank) if we don’t advocate for any number of groups that we likely aren’t a part of. The authors of these posts and memes wag their fingers at us and tell us, “If you only support _________, but don’t support _____, _____, _____, ____, ______, and _____, then you’re not really supportive at all!!!”

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Well, I call bullshit.

Who a person decides to lend their support or advocacy to is their business. Further, it doesn’t take away from their character or level of compassion or charity.

As a Black woman, I do enough emotional labor. I won’t be guilted, shamed, or forced to add every groups’ problems to my plate.

Black people are good about (rightfully) being upset when other minority groups expect us to do labor on their behalf in the fight for justice. We think about how we fought before, during and after the Civil Rights era while other groups reaped the real benefits of our hard work (hello, white women), and we are dismayed that anyone would dare part their lips (or open their laptop) to demand we do even more.

Well, that’s how I feel about being a Black woman and Black womanhood. For centuries we have stood alone delivering everyone else out of their muck and mire. We have written, orated, fought, protested, and everything else for everybody else; no matter how dreadfully they may have treated us (hello…well, everybody).

We advocate, argue with, blizzock friends over them not supporting other oppressed groups that never sever ties with their friends who don’t support us. We put ourselves in harm’s way to champion people who do not reciprocate on the same level (hello, black men). We even rationalize the bad behavior of other groups just to justify continuing to advocate for them.

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To this day, nobody can explain how a movement largely predicated on men being violent (in bathrooms, no less) has anything to do with women’s failure. Are we supposed to be bodyguards and jump in front of flying fists meant for someone else? If men are causing your problem, deal with THEM. Meanwhile, people with dicks have ALWAYS been a problem for women.

Then, we get the blame when those groups don’t quite advance like they think they should have (though they manage to get more consideration that we do); even when it actually has nothing to do with us.

So when someone dares to declare that I have to throw myself into the embers again for every whimsical cause or neglected demographic that pops up or I’m not “real” or “pro-Black” or “pro” anything else, my first inclination is to tell them to shut the fuck up.

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I mean…G-d is a Black woman so I don’t feel a need to stand in Her way by marching and arguing with people online in the name of “social justice” over someone who expressed views like this about Her image.

This is normally the place where I’d go into all of these stats and post hyperlinks to report upon report proving the trials that Black women and girls face. But, I’m not going to do that. I’ve done it in other posts and frankly, my desire to justify my perspective on this particular matter is spectacularly low. Needless to say, the information is out there for anybody who cares to look for it.

These people already know that though. They already know that nobody advocates against Black women’s own interest more than Black women. But, guilting Black women into doing more labor than their fair share is and has always been the “in thing” to do.

The funny part (cause there’s ALWAYS a funny part) is that these same people will boldly tell you that it’s not your business what they spend their money on when they post their multiple GFM links on your timeline. They’ll tell you who they choose to sleep with is their business while simultaneously telling you that if you are just as choosy about who you date/sleep with, you’re -phobic or -ist.

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The upshot is this: I wish people no harm regardless of their stripe. I hope people find their way. I hope people find the support, love, and total health that they need. I’m just not going to be the one helping aaaaallllll those people do it. I advocate for Black women and girls; straight or lesbian. Dassit!

Not only is that my right, it’s my business.

 

 

White Women: The Kelly Bundys of Social Justice

Millennials over 30 and Xennials are old enough to remember “Married With Children.” It was about a family of four lead by a generally unhappy shoe salesman, his stay-at-home wife, and their two teen children. It was funny. One of the things that made it funny was their daughter, “Kelly,” who was so airheaded that even her attempts at seriousness failed spectacularly.

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Recently, after Georgia’s governor signed an abortion ban bill that outlaws abortion once a heartbeat is detected, Alyssa Milano of “Who’s The Boss” fame (if you’re under 30, you’ll probably have to Google that), came out and suggested that women withhold sex from their partners until the bill is reversed. The presumption is that she was talking about straight women since many of these lawmakers are men.

Earlier today, after I posted a brief schpill about women in relationships on my personal Facebook page, I had someone, a white woman, suggest that women should just become lesbians or celibate and “rid” men out of our lives. When I noted that all of us aren’t lesbians, nor are we interested in it, and expressed that I have no desire to be celibate, she told me to continue to “suffer.” She then went into a rant about how she gets sick of straight women complaining about men while continuing to deal with them.

 

Other acts used to “empower” women and “promote equality” for women include the “free bleeding movement” where women don’t use any menstrual products and just bleed through their clothes as an act of showing that women should have the “right”  to menstruate (cause if we didn’t, our uterine lining would stop shedding, I guess). Kiran Gandhi ran a marathon with blood dripping down her leg in solidarity with the millions of women who do not have regular access to menstrual products and to show that there’s no shame in menstruation.

 

Let’s not forget the various “free the nipple” style campaigns because nothing gives men a kick in the balls and says, “fuck the patriarchy” like women walking around showing their titties to every rando on the street who passes them.

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Then, there’s this picture…

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This woman is apparently a yoga instructor who thought this photo of her “free bleeding” while her kids’ heads were in the line of fire was a deep statement on womanhood and the importance of the menstrual cycle. You can read her comments on the matter HERE.

This was the picture that led me to the conclusion that white women don’t have enough to do. While they’d like to think they are fighting the patriarchy by bleeding on couches and breastfeeding while doing a cartwheel at 11 am on a Tuesday, all they are doing is demonstrating how detached from feminism, let alone reality they are; especially the intersectional kind.

Patriarchy is not going to stop women from menstruating. That’s nature. A woman’s shame or lack thereof, at least in the west, is her issue. But what patriarchy, in its various forms and mutations, does do is ensure that white women only make 60% of what white men make and that Black women make even less. It ensures that rapists walk. It ensures that we spend time arguing about a domestic abuser registry instead of just establishing one. Refusing to wear a pad, tampon, or menstrual cup is not going to address standard nor racialized sexism.

Not having sex with your male partner is not going to address the underbelly of misogyny and (to be quite honest) racism that is the true basis of all of these restrictive abortion laws.

Deciding to just become or pretending to be a lesbian is not going to even start to address the violence perpetrated by men upon women.

Instead of “freeing” the menstrual cycle (which doesn’t need to be freed because it’s going to come anyway unless you’ve surgically removed your uterus, have gone through menopause, are on certain hormonal birth control that stops it, or have an endocrine issue), I’d rather free people.

Instead of “freeing the nipple,” I’d rather hear about ideas that will actually bring substantial systemic change in areas that matter like employment and healthcare.

While white women are baking vagina cupcakes, Black women and other women of color are working, struggling, fighting structural “–isms”, fighting intra-community violence against us, and trying to survive.

It’s time for Rebecca to actually participate in a substantive way, or go sit down and shut up.

 

 

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W.D. B. 1.1: The Wayward Daughter’s Solution For Abortion

The last two weeks have been full of news of random states where nobody lives by choice proposing or enacting highly restrictive abortion laws. Alabama, a state known for its college football team (I guess), now has a law on the books that is said to be so restrictive, it peacocks in the face of Roe v. Wade. In total, 8 states have passed abortion laws that could cause even the most ardent cycle-watchers to end up in a situation where they are left with few options should they need to terminate a pregnancy.

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A part of my brilliance is that I can argue both sides of pretty much any issue. But, I’m not about to do that for free and this is a blog, not a university speakers series. I believe that everybody is in an uproar about this issue and they really don’t need to be. They need to take a page from The Wayward Daughter’s Keys To Life (not a real book but if any publishers out there want to offer me a book deal with a handsome advance, I’m up for it) and calm the fuck down and think this thing through.

Now, without further ado, I present Wayward Daughter Bill 1.1 (that’s random as I suspect most government bill numbers are)…*drumroll*

Ist CONGRESS
1st Session (Unless talking shit with my friends in FB messages counts)


W. D. B. 1.1

To get people to use common sense about the abortion issue and offer a solution that should make the churchy, men who think they have a say, women who are at the service of those men’s agenda, and expectant mothers who don’t want, can’t, or don’t need to be mothers happy.

IN THE BEDROOM OF THE WAYWARD DAUGHTER

Received (well if you’re talking about the initial epiphany)

 Sometime back in 2005 Probably

                            Read the first time

Today; as I wrote it

                           Read the second time and placed on the calendar blog

Today; as I edited it

 

AN ACT

SECTION 1. SHORT TITLE.

This Act may be cited as the “If You Want Them So Bad, You Take Care of Them Act” (not “WaywardCare” or any of the other nonsense y’all were gonna’ start calling it cause…).

SEC. A.  STATEMENT OF POLICY.

(a) Statement Of Policy.—It is the policy of The Wayward Daughter that—

(1) all United States citizens over the age of 21 who have a problem with abortion are to be entered into a national adoption draft.

Once identified as an anti-choicer, you will be involuntarily entered into the national adoption draft as a potential draftee.

Draftees cannot opt-out. Ever.

(2) once entered into the national adoption draft, draftees will be eligible to be chosen up to three times to become the parent of record of children whose mothers were not allowed to terminate their pregnancies early on.

(3) draftees cannot reject your drafting; there are no waivers for bone spurs or anything else

(4) draftees cannot choose which child(ren) you get based on…well…anything; for red and yellow, black and white, they are precious in Jesus’ sight

(5) draftees must raise the child(ren) they’re assigned through high school graduation; no exchanges. If you end up with Damien from The Omen, you better bind it and cast it out.

(6) as parent of record, draftees bear the same legal and moral responsibility as natal parents

(7) draftees will only receive $100 per month per child in food benefits; all other costs associated with raising the child(ren) are the responsibility of the draftee; don’t worry because God has a purpose for your struggle, remember?

(8) once a draftee has been assigned three children, they are relieved from future drafts; UNLESS there is an emergency…I mean, this is just based on 8 states so far.

(9) draftees who have not been assigned three children are not excused from draftability until the age of 70; no retirement for you

SEC. B.  APPEALS PROCESS.

(a) APPEALS PROCESS.—It is the policy of The Wayward Daughter that—

(1) Ain’t none, bih! If you didn’t want to get drafted, you shouldn’t have gone around telling everybody you’re anti-choice.

 

 

 

 

Attest:  The Wayward Daughter

             Queen, Judge, Clerk, “Ugh…I Can’t Stand Her”

             May 26, 2019

 

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Why I Hate The Internet: The Game (rapper) and His Wayward Fingers

Technology has been a blessing. We can do things now that we couldn’t do 5, 10, and 15 years ago. One of those things is wide access to the internet and social media. For all its good, though, one of the worst things about these advances is that anybody can post anything no matter how wrong it is and they’ll have an audience that believes they’re right and agrees with them. Now, that may seem like a strange thing to say coming from a blogger, but it’s simply the truth. I mean, I get on here and talk shit all the time. Love it, hate it. It is what it is.

But what I cannot…will not let slide are statements like that in the following screenshot made by famous rapper The Game (government name, Jayceon Taylor):

Screenshot_20190510-205127_Facebook

Of course, my first reaction was something along the lines of, “If he doesn’t shut the fuck up right now..!” My second reaction was something snarky like, “They don’t think past Friday, so why would they plan for next Thursday?!” My last reaction, the one that matters, was to point out the lack of fact of his statement.

Let’s back up though and analyze the post for what it is. It’s steeped in a type of misogynoir that overlooks the harm perpetrated against Black women and girls by Black men. It overlooks the violence perpetrated by Black women and girls by non-Black men. It’s the kind of misogynoir that has allowed the Chicago illiterate who shall not be named to continually violate Black women and girls and go unchecked for well over two decades. Similar to the racists who claim Black people have it “easy” because of food stamps, it seeks to give credence to a self-made plight by pretending that Black women have no plight whatsoever.

Now that that’s out of the way, I want to take some time to school Mr. Taylor. According to the Violence Policy Center citing numbers from the Federal Bureau of Investigation, as of 2016, Black women were nearly always murdered by someone that they know and usually with a gun.

The study goes on to say this: Compared to a black male, a black female is far more likely to be killed by her spouse, an intimate acquaintance, or a family member than by a stranger. Where the relationship could be determined, 91 percent of black females killed by males in single victim/single offender incidents knew their killers. Of the black victims who knew their offenders, 58 percent were wives, common-law wives, ex-wives, or girlfriends of the offenders. More than 10 times as many black females were murdered by a male they knew than were killed by male strangers.”

Further, an 18-year perusal by the CDC of 18 states found that while the nationwide rate of female homicide was 2 per 100,000, for Black women, it was 4.4 per 100,000.

And we may as well talk about sexual violence, too. Black women are disproportionately prone to being victims of sexual violence.

What’s telling is that one of the risk factors for sexual violence against women is a sense of hostility towards women. The Game is in an industry known for every third word being a pejorative for women (Black women, in particular) like, “bitch” or “hoe.”

One of the community risk factors for violence against women is the tolerance of sexual violence. I just finished pointing out that “the community” allowed the Pied Piper of Pedophilia run roughshod over Black women and girls for over two decades (closer to 3, really).

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I hate to break it to The Game and all the other Black men who think Black women are walking around doing Irish clicks over puddles like Fred Astaire, totally secure, but we are probably more at danger than you are. I’ll tell you why very shortly.

But, while we’re here (insert sarcastic smirk), let’s talk about this violence that renders you all unable to make plans a week away. That violence? Yeah, that violence is perpetuated by you all as well. I’m certain I don’t need to say any more on that.

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So to recap: y’all kill us (and our children). Y’all kill each other. Do Black women a favor and stop trying to drag us into what is clearly your own maladaptive pathology. If you can’t make plans for next Thursday, look to your left and your right while you’re in the studio laying phat beats, (or, you know, a mirror), and you’ll see the reasons why.

 

Dear Democrats: What The F*ck Are Y’all Doing? Flea Market Part II

The last time I wrote about politics, there were 8-10 Democratic hopefuls. At the time, I called the race a flea market because there were so many people running and a lot of them were randos who came out of nowhere.

Well, it pains me to say that it’s gotten worse. At last count, according to this article, there are 21 hopefuls. I don’t even know what to say.

house of cards 2

Remember the show West Wing? Even though I only started watching it well after it was off the air and on Netflix, I love that show. Same thing for House of Cards and Madame Secretary. Do you know why? Because every political move was written as if it was all planned. Politician A promised politician B a seat on some committee if politician B could convince politicians C-E to vote a certain way. The best part was when party A put up politician C to run for POTUS and talked politicians D-M out of running for POTUS for the benefit of the party.

I loved these shows because I could clearly see the parallels between real life and the drama that was written “for entertainment purposes only.” I was convinced that Hollywood, that had managed to um…”predict” so many other political happenings, had the inside scoop.

But, I swear….this Democratic race has disabused the fuck out of my conclusions.

As I’ve said many times, I’m a Centrist. I actually wouldn’t mind seeing Mitt Romney primary Donald Trump. I’d even like to see Kasich give it another try.

house of cards 1

But when I read articles like the one I posted above and this one that talks about Democratic hopeful #47753037 selling bumper stickers so they can get on the debate stage, I become a tad perplexed at whether the Democrats even have a plan for lunch this Thursday, let alone their nominee or the direction of the country.

ridiculous

Yes, I know that anybody who meets the criteria to be POTUS (and has the donors or cash to sustain a campaign) can throw their hat in the ring. I just wonder if the “top” Dems have stopped to look at what’s happening with the party right now long enough to realize that they’re going to have to use actual strategy this time around instead of just hope that Millennials will be so touched by student loan cancellation and Medicaid for all that they’ll rush to the polls to put whomever the Dems settle on into office.

Because you see, they did that last time and we all saw (and are seeing) what happened.

what-did-you-expect-its-a-f-ing-bear_o_170070

Let me back up though.

In my opinion, the Dems have tried to engage in a sort of political foreplay. They got their constituents hyped about Russia, Russia, Russia. They’ve spent (and still spend) inordinate amounts of time pointing out every spelling mistake Trump makes on Twitter. Then, they pretended to take the ADOS Movement’s demand for reparations seriously.

But what happened?

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No penetration. You can forget about an orgasm.

They knew good and damn well that they had no real intentions of pursuing impeachment. Instead of organizing or drafting some type of substantive and REALISTIC policy initiatives, they wasted time pointing and laughing trying to make Trump look like a clueless illiterate buffoon (ie. the 3 months of “covfefe”). And last I heard, many of the hopefuls say that they agree with reparations but (in the words of Iris Murdoch) between saying and doing, many a pair of shoes is worn out.

Then, they trotted people like Alexandra Ocasio-Cortez out as the progressive voice that they know they will never support en masse because they know Millennials love that shit.

dumpster fire

I never thought I’d say this but Republicans seem to have more sense at this point than Democrats.

How?

They are backing one person. Even though many (if not most) of them think he’s the wrong choice for POTUS, they are putting the party above their own personal feelings simply to have the GOP rule the roost another 4 years. They are closing ranks; and although I take issue with many of the things that GOP’ers do and say, I must state that they are doing what’s logical when you want to win.

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I suggest the Dems do the same. I’m no political pundit but I think they need to all…ALLLLLLL…sit down and have a come to Jesus (that’s HAY-SOOS, not your Lord & Savior) meeting and choose 3-5 nominees to put up that they truly think can compete and defeat Trump. Then, those chosen can get busy strategizing and forming a sound set of policies that they can easily support during the debates and beyond.

nasty food.gif

But this thing they’re doing now where everybody and their cousin is suddenly running is simply too many cooks ruining a broth that, to be quite honest, wasn’t that good to begin with.

Nevertheless, I’ll end this the same way I ended Part I. I wish all the candidates luck.

 

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