Protesting Too Much: The GOP and the Impeachement Hearings

So, many of us have been indulging in the national soap opera we call impeachment hearings. A couple of weeks ago, a cast of witnesses were brought in to testify to whether or not Trump demanded a quid pro quo from President Zelensky of Ukraine. You’ll remember that as Ambassaador Yovanovitch testified, Trump took the opportunity to talk shit about her on Twitter.

You’ll also remember Ambassador Sondland sitting with the petty bitch smirk as he rolled Trump under the bus like a bowling ball. One of the best parts was when Lieutenant Colonial Vindman had to get one of the lawmakers together about his title.

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During the impeachment inquiry, we learned that many adults in the United States of America don’t know the meaning of hearsay. We also learned that Trump is more vindictive than the proverbial woman scorned.

Then, this week, we heard from four law scholars on whether or not the framers would have considered Trump to have committed the high crimes and misdemeanors that are required for impeachment. Three said yes. One said no. The one who said he had not was clearly there for the GOP. Unfortunately for them (the GOP), he seemed like he didn’t own a television or smartphone.

What I noticed most in both sets of hearings was how the GOP lawmakers, instead of using their 5 minutes to ask questions (which is the point), decided to do soliloquies and mini-sermons instead for at least half the time.

Listen, we know y’all think this is a sham. We know y’all don’t want him impeached. The purpose of a hearing is to ask questions and get answers from witnesses that will assist you in making a final decision. We don’t need to hear from each of you how you think this is a witch hunt or being done because Schiff and Pelosi don’t like Trump.

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You would think that the GOP would remember the line about protesting too much. By using their 5 minutes to grandstand, yell, shout, and repeat the shit we read from randos on Twitter, all they’re doing is furthering the belief that there’s fuckery to hide. They sound like robots who were all programmed to say varying versions of the same thing.

If you’re really trying to find something concrete to disprove your opponent’s position, actually taking the time to formulate objective inquiry would go a long way. Instead, the GOP is content to put people like Jim Jordan on television to yell at people like a hobo on a street corner drunk off cheap bourbon in a Sears shirt with a comb over.

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But, what almost had me thinking I was about to slap somebody was when Rep. Gaetz shouted down Prof. Karlan as she attempted to answer him. Did you see that?

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When he shouted at Professor Karlan that she doesn’t “GET TO INTERRUPT” him during his time, half of which he spent doing a mini-sermon about how the Democrats are just mad at Trump and after having interrupted Prof. Karlan, I heard the African-American spiritual, “Who The Fuck You Talkin’ To,” play in my head.

I won’t even start on them boo-hooing about the reference to Barron Trump as if they didn’t sit by for 8 years and either engage in or excuse real insults against Sasha and Malia Obama.

Based on these most recent testimonies, Nancy Pelosi asked that articles of impeachment be officially drafted. I can’t wait until the trial. I sincerely hope Trump that testifies and doesn’t fold his arms like a big baby. And I’ll be live tweeting every second, especially if the GOP starts their martyr blues bullshit.

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I’ll say one thing: this shit should cause law school applications to skyrocket. If I could find a financier, I’d certainly enroll.

Any takers?

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Support My Ass!

Cabbage Soup Diet & Politics: I Agree With Obama

 

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This week, several publications reported on statements that former President Barack Obama made at a private dinner geared towards Liberals who were rich enough to attend (ok, I added that last part). Here’s what he said to the donors at the Democracy Alliance gathering:

“This is still a country that is less revolutionary than it is interested in improvement,” he said at the annual meeting of the Democracy Alliance. “The average American doesn’t think we have to completely tear down the system and remake it.”

Of course, liberals (particularly of the SJW type), jumped all over that comment and Obama in general. They viewed it as weak and proof (retroactive, of course) that Obama was and is every bit the “puppet” that they claim all politicians are. These people swear fo’ gawd that they indeed want to tear the system down, and some even assert that this is proof that Obama is really more of a less right-leaning Republican.

Well, this will probably get me #cancelled but I actually agree with Obama. Why? Let’s look at what he said. He said this is still a country that is less revolutionary than it is interested in improvement. I see no lie. If America were interested in revolution, it’d have already happened by now.

The dictionary defines “revolution” as the forcible overthrow of the government. By that definition, Black folks alone would have burned this place to the ground long before any of us were born and if not, they’d (we’d) have done it by now.

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Even in the midst of the severe income inequality that everyone claims to be pissed about, the most physical demonstration of that anger was Occupy Wall St. where a bunch of mostly white kids agreed to sit on the sidewalk in NY’s financial district holding signs, chanting, playing lutes, and not showering. And if I had to guess, because of white privilege, most of those kids are just fine now and their participation is now something they can tell their children and grandchildren they did to seem cool.

Some revolution!

Obama went further to advise current candidates to watch the policies they are pushing. He verbalized immigration as one of these policy hot buttons. For example, Julian Castro, once an Obama official, has proposed decriminalizing illegal entry (which I find funny because as much as progressives tout the more liberal policies of other countries, they forget that most countries view illegal entry as a crime and will send you back…but anywho…).

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But here’s the best part of what Obama said:

“Voters, including Democrats, are not driven by the same views that are reflected on certain left-leaning Twitter feeds, or the activist wing of our party,” he said. “And that’s not a criticism to the activist wing. Their job is to poke and prod and text and inspire and motivate. But the candidate’s job, whoever that ends up being, is to get elected.

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I think that last line is the closer. My personal opinion is that to be successful in politics, you have to find the public sweet spot. Many of the people criticizing Obama forget that he won two presidential elections and in his other political positions, he only lost once. It’s obvious that his statements at this dinner, along with statements he made back in October about cancel culture, are really his advice against trying to run on unsustainable or sensational platforms. I’ve said before that a candidate who has never held a position can promise the moon and stars but when they get in the office and see what’s what, they may realize that what they promised is not feasible.

Voters like myself are not listening for buzzwords and looking for shiny objects and moving parts. We want to hear realistic and actionable platforms that make sense and don’t sound like something picked up from watching a Barney marathon while high on LSD.

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A lot of progressives want to see a cabbage soup diet platform but since the consensus seems to be just defeating Trump (or in his absence the GOP challenger), that strategy where you treat the constituents like 6 year-olds let loose in the Lego Store, is not going to work.

I do believe that people have high expectations for the 2020 campaign season and election, but the Dems (should have) learned in 2016 that the opposing candidate being an unqualified buffoon is not enough to win. So I think it’s worth paying attention to Obama’s advice.

 

Can We NOT? Rules For Election 2020

We’re about a year out from the 2020 presidential election. Having lived through the 2016 election and the myriad e-slap fights between the people who voted for Bernie Sanders or abstained and the Hillary supporters, I feel like it’s not too early to express my desires for next year’s campaign and election cycle. 

I was hoping to wait until the Democrats had decided on a sole candidate but something deep inside me feels that we need to address this now and probably have a couple of review sessions in 2020. With that said, I present to you the top 3 things that I DO NOT want to witness during the 2020 campaign season.

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  1. Using living or dead ancestors to berate people who have decided to abstain or vote for the candidate you don’t personally care for.

Listen. We ALL know that our foreparents fought wars, died, starved, bled, etc. for our right to vote. African-Americans especially know because some of those people who went through all of white people’s bullshit to gain basic rights are still alive and kicking and have told us the stories. There’s really no need to finger-wag adults and try to use the fact that our grandparents had to sit at the back of the bus to guilt someone into voting. 

Although we may not agree with someone’s decision to not vote, it is THEIR decision, just like it’s OUR decision to exercise our vote. We can bust out 9837573 reasons to vote, and they can likely bust out the same number of reasons to abstain. And even if they cannot, it remains their option. 

And just to be petty for a minute, we do a whole lot of shit that our ancestors would frown upon but we’re grown people who deserve to have our agency respected regardless. It’s okay to be not okay with people abstaining. It’s not okay to be not okay with people exercising their choice.

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  1. Arguing with people about what they SHOULD care about when selecting their choice of candidate.

Just because you think free universal pre-k and all-genitals welcome restrooms is important doesn’t mean that everyone else does.

Trust that people can prioritize their concerns just like you did. I’ll be open and say that I don’t plan on voting for anybody who is too far left or too far right. I think that because of the climate on social media, there are candidates who are publicly applauding shit they don’t actually support (which is a huge part of politics, I get it). 

Those candidates may not get my vote. 

On top of that, arguing with someone about what should be important to them seems like more of a waste of time than contacting PayPal customer service. You can argue with me until you’re blue in the face, I don’t give a fuck about you wanting to smoke weed legally. While I think it’s stupid that weed is considered a Schedule I drug and it’s wasteful that people are doing major time for it, I don’t require a promise of legalization of it from a candidate to support him/her. 

In short, you chose your hot buttons; let others choose theirs. 

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  1. (If your chosen candidate doesn’t win) Arguing why it’s everybody else’s fault for not voting for your candidate of choice.

We saw a lot of this after Hillary lost to Donald Trump for several months after he was inaugurated. 

Hillary supporters blamed Sanders supporters for either not voting for Hillary, voting for Trump as punishment, or abstaining altogether. 

It was one of the most entertaining displays of crying over spilled milk I’d ever seen. 

But it didn’t change the outcome and here we are, three years later. 

I have no issue if you want to be known for your advocacy of a certain candidate or like to engage in intellectual chow-chow with your friends (or foes) about political strategy. But, the hostile back-and-forth with the opposing teams after the race has been decided? Let’s not. 

I understand that politics is a hot topic but if the 2016 outcome taught me anything, it’s that some of you need a triple latte, a colonic, and a reality check – severely.

Let’s try to be and do better this time around regardless of what party with which you affiliate yourself. 

W.D. B. 1.1: The Wayward Daughter’s Solution For Abortion

The last two weeks have been full of news of random states where nobody lives by choice proposing or enacting highly restrictive abortion laws. Alabama, a state known for its college football team (I guess), now has a law on the books that is said to be so restrictive, it peacocks in the face of Roe v. Wade. In total, 8 states have passed abortion laws that could cause even the most ardent cycle-watchers to end up in a situation where they are left with few options should they need to terminate a pregnancy.

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A part of my brilliance is that I can argue both sides of pretty much any issue. But, I’m not about to do that for free and this is a blog, not a university speakers series. I believe that everybody is in an uproar about this issue and they really don’t need to be. They need to take a page from The Wayward Daughter’s Keys To Life (not a real book but if any publishers out there want to offer me a book deal with a handsome advance, I’m up for it) and calm the fuck down and think this thing through.

Now, without further ado, I present Wayward Daughter Bill 1.1 (that’s random as I suspect most government bill numbers are)…*drumroll*

Ist CONGRESS
1st Session (Unless talking shit with my friends in FB messages counts)


W. D. B. 1.1

To get people to use common sense about the abortion issue and offer a solution that should make the churchy, men who think they have a say, women who are at the service of those men’s agenda, and expectant mothers who don’t want, can’t, or don’t need to be mothers happy.

IN THE BEDROOM OF THE WAYWARD DAUGHTER

Received (well if you’re talking about the initial epiphany)

 Sometime back in 2005 Probably

                            Read the first time

Today; as I wrote it

                           Read the second time and placed on the calendar blog

Today; as I edited it

 

AN ACT

SECTION 1. SHORT TITLE.

This Act may be cited as the “If You Want Them So Bad, You Take Care of Them Act” (not “WaywardCare” or any of the other nonsense y’all were gonna’ start calling it cause…).

SEC. A.  STATEMENT OF POLICY.

(a) Statement Of Policy.—It is the policy of The Wayward Daughter that—

(1) all United States citizens over the age of 21 who have a problem with abortion are to be entered into a national adoption draft.

Once identified as an anti-choicer, you will be involuntarily entered into the national adoption draft as a potential draftee.

Draftees cannot opt-out. Ever.

(2) once entered into the national adoption draft, draftees will be eligible to be chosen up to three times to become the parent of record of children whose mothers were not allowed to terminate their pregnancies early on.

(3) draftees cannot reject your drafting; there are no waivers for bone spurs or anything else

(4) draftees cannot choose which child(ren) you get based on…well…anything; for red and yellow, black and white, they are precious in Jesus’ sight

(5) draftees must raise the child(ren) they’re assigned through high school graduation; no exchanges. If you end up with Damien from The Omen, you better bind it and cast it out.

(6) as parent of record, draftees bear the same legal and moral responsibility as natal parents

(7) draftees will only receive $100 per month per child in food benefits; all other costs associated with raising the child(ren) are the responsibility of the draftee; don’t worry because God has a purpose for your struggle, remember?

(8) once a draftee has been assigned three children, they are relieved from future drafts; UNLESS there is an emergency…I mean, this is just based on 8 states so far.

(9) draftees who have not been assigned three children are not excused from draftability until the age of 70; no retirement for you

SEC. B.  APPEALS PROCESS.

(a) APPEALS PROCESS.—It is the policy of The Wayward Daughter that—

(1) Ain’t none, bih! If you didn’t want to get drafted, you shouldn’t have gone around telling everybody you’re anti-choice.

 

 

 

 

Attest:  The Wayward Daughter

             Queen, Judge, Clerk, “Ugh…I Can’t Stand Her”

             May 26, 2019

 

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