Wise As Serpents: My Thoughts on “Male Feminists” and the Women Who Fall For Them (For Some Reason)

Last week, a noted “male feminist” and pretty popular social justice figure was exposed – big time. It seems that he had at least one long-term long-distance girlfriend in another city that he visited occasionally. She was apparently in love with him and he had finally declared his love for her – the day before he married his fiancée. Once he was exposed (by the long-distance girlfriend), he said he “confessed” (I assume to his fiancée as well as the internet). He went ahead and married his intendant.  A day later, it was revealed that besides his long-distance girlfriend, he used Facebook Messenger as his personal savings and loan branch and not surprisingly, all the lenders were women.

That’s as short as I can make that story and as long as I care to. But, this wasn’t the first time something like this has happened in these “woke” circles. Every 16 months or so, there’s an expose on yet another man who duped scads of their social media activist female counterparts into believing they were patriarchy-dismantling, toxic masculinity battling, “male feminists.” They were either sleeping their way through the group, “borrowing” copious amounts of money from women who already had a full financial plate with some ambiguous sob story, promising eternal love to 5-10 women at a time, or doing any other of the things that men are known to do.

Of course, everybody feels for the women who are the targets of these male beings’ bad behavior. I certainly feel some anger when a man thinks it’s okay to deceive his way through a relatively small community in order to get gas money, groceries, and sex from women who, on average, haven’t even begun to have enough life experience or self-concept to accept they are being played.

male feminist

This leads me to two points. The first is that there is no such thing as a “male feminist.” I’ll repeat.

There. Is. No. Such. Thing. As. A. Male. Feminist.

When I first heard that term used, I knew the backfire wasn’t afar off. When has the oppressed (in this case, women) giving the oppressors (in this case, men), honorary standing in the oppressed group because of a few meager acts of “see, I’m a good one” ever worked? Sure, it makes women feel good to know that there may be 2 wholly decent men for every 100 that they’ll encounter instead of the 0.5 (go with it) for every 100 they thought previously existed. But, in my estimation, if you want to know if there is any validity to it, there has to be measurable results.

With all the talk about “woke” men becoming “male feminists,” the wage gap still exists (including the bigger racialized wage gap) and doesn’t appear to be going anywhere any time soon.  Women are still taxed for basic feminine hygiene products. We still have a hard time getting our attackers to see justice. You would think, with all the men who claim to be in the chorus of #notallmen and who furiously claim disagreement with their fellow men in comment sections, 50% of women wouldn’t be killed by intimate partners, with Black women coming in first.

In short, I’ve yet to see one of these “male feminists” or “allies” do anything substantive to battle systemic sexism, let alone rabid Fuckboyitis™ even within themselves.

Slut Walk Toronto 2012

No, Susan, your husband cooking breakfast on Sundays isn’t a sign that he’s a “male feminist” hell-bent on seeing the full equality of women to men at some point in his life. No, your internet boo isn’t “different” because when he came to see you, he paid for the Chili’s 3 for $10 special you two split. Hate to break it to you, but disappointment is a part of life.

Parte Dos.

As I said earlier, these “I luuuuurve and respect women” scammers are a never-ending event; almost like bacteria development or seasonal allergies.

Wisdom is loosely defined as knowledge + judgment.

What do we know? We know men are trash. We know that some of the worst atrocities in human history were initiated and executed by men. We know that most, if not all, of the murderers of that 50% of women I mentioned before were men. We know that most female domestic violence (be it physical, emotional, financial, etc…) victims are so at the hands of men. We know that the male-dominated executive, legislative and judicial branches here in the US have bent over backwards to deny women basic rights. We know that similarly male-dominated governments all over the world have done the same. We know that for many of us, just encountering a group of men on the streets sends our fight or flight mechanism into overdrive.

Judgment itself is defined as good sense or the ability to evaluate a situation objectively. Since we know that men generally ain’t shit (objectively) that puts us in a perfect position to judge them unworthy of all the things these “male feminists” in social justice groups are able to bamboozle out of women based on a few “woke” FB posts.

If we combine the two, and actually put it into action, perhaps these social justice pussy hounds will be forced to find another source of income. Maybe they can start to hurt and scam each other to see if they’ve truly conquered their own toxic masculinity. We as women can’t claim to want to topple the patriarchy but toss all wisdom and logic out the door when one of its soldiers tells us he likes us.

In a perfect world, with top-notch elementary education and involved parental engagement at home, I wouldn’t have to say this but for those who won’t read comprehensively and are poised to accuse me of “victim-blaming” based on 309 of over 1,000 words, know that I find these men reprehensible. We can all wish that people would do the right thing 100% of the time, but we have advanced knowledge that they don’t. At some point, we have to recognize the dogs that bite and stop petting them.

I sincerely hope that the women who were duped by the most recent social justice scoundrel are able to rebound emotionally and financially (if it applies). In fact, I hope that all the women who have ever been taken by these sharks receive some kind of retribution.

Let’s hope that the tide is turning and we’ll eventually get back to the feminism that doesn’t make women feel they need to discount what they know in favor of placating and keeping the company of men.

 

 

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Why I’m Tired of Hearing About “Wokeness”

It’s 2018. We are seeing notable socio-cultural changes every day. A 99% Black movie is probably on pace to make half a billion dollars by the end of its first week out. There are white people who are willing to admit their privilege, and gay teens are unabashedly giving the object of their affection Valentine’s Day gifts on camera at school. Arguably, all this “wokeness” is great. People feel more affirmed, more comfortable in their own skin, and free to be who they are a la Marlo Thomas.

Unfortunately, that also means that people are free to be as openly daft as they can be as well.

when-you-clean-out-a-vacuum-cleaner-you-become-the-16022989

Being labeled “woke” is the new “smart.” It’s equivalent to the senior superlatives in high school and there are multiple trophies for that particular award. And, just like the senior superlatives, I find that being “woke” usually doesn’t amount to much and doesn’t necessarily have any basis in fact. Don’t get me wrong; I think it’s great that people are starting to examine the systemic issues that have long plagued our society. Reflection and introspection is always a productive venture.

I just wish these “woke” people would get “woke” about the rudiments of life.

broadway bitchin'

Who wants to bet that if Broadway did that, the next Tumblr post would be about how it costs too much to buy so they still had to bootleg it because “poor people deserve” to experience Broadway too? -TWD

I can’t tell you how I cackled upon learning that there are books and classes for the generation who can explain why capitalism is evil to learn how to balance a checkbook or call and make a doctor’s appointment. The fact that these adults, in all their ire at the death of free checking, need help adulting between trying to argue you down on Facebook about why economically prudent procreation is a form of eugenics is one of the richest desserts that have landed on my plate.

 

 

When I was in the band in high school, there was a girl in our section (clarinet) who didn’t know her scales. We were all practicing and found out then, that despite decent performances in stage and field shows, she knew not one scale. She wasn’t kicked out of the marching band but she was placed in beginning band class so that she could at least learn her scales. We were all a little shocked. Even the band director would never have thought she didn’t know the basic nuts and bolts of the instrument she had been playing since elementary school. She was offended that she had to go and take a band class with 9th graders but alas, life isn’t fair.

To me, that illustrates the modern-day “woke” crew almost perfectly. They’ve learned just enough to deal with what’s in front of them and can even hear just well enough to blend in but when it’s time to deal with the things that require a foundation that allows them to actually maneuver themselves, they’re pretty much imposters.

abortion

Imagine being so “woke” that you don’t even want to call women, women. I’m pretty sure calling people something other than what they are is in the “woke” list of sins.-TWD

I have a working theory that the “woke” ones tend to sound and/or be ridiculous because they jumped from knowing a little bit of nothing to being “woke” and knowing everything in the “woke” handbook, but not much else (hence, the adulting books). They lack a knowledge base from which to build substantive or at least well-thought ideas. Add that to the fact that I believe many of these people are trying to use “wokeness” to try to heal unresolved personal issues and it makes for a pot of mishmash stew that’s only slightly edible.

lesbian trans

IDK if it’s true that she’s the only lesbian in porn but I’m still trying to figure out how being committed to “vagene” is transphobic…since, you know, “transwomen are women.” Oh wait….! – TWD

In that vein, I’m trying to figure out how the “woke” are any better than those who are asleep. I mean granted, the sleep people may not be able to offer such treasures as suggesting that lesbians are transphobic for shunning penis but as far as I’m concerned, both the sleep and the “woke” are using (or not) the same part of their brain to arrive at their respective life ideologies.

Can’t they all just get along?!

stop the madness

When are people going to get “woke” about the fact that you have to ring up the actual items you’ve selected in self-checkout or it’s theft; not a “poverty hack?” When are people going to get “woke” about the fact that their theft poverty hack is part of what makes the high prices they rail against high prices? Better yet, when will they be “woke” enough to not admit to theft in a public forum? When do they get “woke” about the fact that no business, especially not a bank, started on the premise of being nice to people irrespective of economic status? Can we get “woke” to the fact that if sexual orientation is innate, that will usually include genitalia? How about getting “woke” about how scamming the gas station with your debit card is not a feasible long-term plan?

Nothing big.

Just the simple shit.

I’m sure any “woke” person that reads this will call me sleep. I’m really more of a pragmatist who is socially conscious, yet plugged into reality at the same time. Most of my circle is the same way. And the beauty of it is that we didn’t have to consult Tumblr to get there.

jane